Balancing Work & Life in the New Year
Among the various newsletters I receive by email each day, a link within one of them stood out to me yesterday, perhaps because of its provocative headline: 10 Reasons Your Team Hates You (They Just Won’t Say It To Your Face). It was a link to a September 2009 blog post at thoughtLEADERS, LLC, and I suppose it was included in the e-newsletter because it offers some opportunities for work-related New Years Resolutions for anyone who has to coexist on a work team.
Each of the 10 undesirable leadership qualities assumes it is the boss who has these negative behaviors. However, in today’s team environments, I would argue that any member of the team can bring down other members, especially on the type of team where each member is subject matter expert for his or her own area of specialization. For example, I am currently on a team responsible for launching about a dozen new products for the personal care industry. We have sales, marketing, engineering and operations all involved in equal (but distinct) roles, and any one of these people could potentially undermine the group’s success even though only one of us is the “boss” of the project.
Overall, I think this is an accurate and succinct list of qualities that can alienate employees and undermine the success of companies or departments. I have worked with people that have each of these character flaws, but thankfully I’ve never worked with any individual who had more than two or three of them. And usually, if one of the team leaders brought down his or her employees with any of these tactics, there was someone else within the organization who made up for it with the opposite behavior. (For example, does it really matter if your boss knows or cares a lot about your personal life so long as other people you work with make you feel like an important individual?)
I even recognize myself in several of the 10 Reasons, and I know other people I’ve worked would say the same thing. (I know this because past employers have told me I created stress among employees when I got too uptight about projects. My response to that criticism was to become defensive and proclaim that I was only stressed out because those other people might not have jobs if we didn’t win the project we were working on – and as team leader I felt it was my responsibility to escalate the urgency of the project. I now realize that’s not good management style after all, but at the time, I thought my stressed out manner was actually a positive attribute that everyone on my team should have shared.)
Another of the 10 Reasons that resonates with me is telling people to have a “balanced life,” and then setting a bad example. It used to drive me absolutely nuts when a previous boss would send me a rash of emails on Sunday afternoon inquiring when we were going to submit a proposal or get paid by a client. “Get a life!” I would think as I stewed over his emails while watching the second half of a football game, half-guilty that I wasn’t working on something productive.
But now, in my dual roles as a business owner and a part-time employee of another company, I find myself working at odd hours and sending emails to people who may resent my intrusion on their personal time.
I have actually rationalized this behavior as important to my career, and as evidence that I’m a dedicated team player who is always accessible. But maybe that’s not how others see it, and maybe there’s a better way to demonstrate my commitment that doesn’t include making my co-workers feel like they need to reply to me at 10:00pm on a Tuesday. (And make my family feel like I’m working all the time.)
So for 2010, I’m going to make some resolutions to be a better business person and a better team player, even if some of my new behaviors are counter to how I’ve performed in the past. Most notably:
- I will differentiate between critical issues and non-critical issues, and only deal with the most critical issues outside of normal work hours. This will provide more of that elusive work-life balance to me and my family, and hopefully resolve any perceptions that I’m either too involved with work, guilty of brown-nosing, or have expectations that my clients and co-workers should work the same nutty hours I do.
- I will make a better effort to manage my work hours so I’m neither giving too much time, nor too little time, to the people I work for, so everyone gets a fair deal and gets what they need on time.
- And in addition to serving the companies I work for, I will spend more time investigating the technologies and social media platforms that will make me a better marketer and better blogger. And, ultimately, a better person to work with and work for.
Happy New Years!

